hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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