I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you had me at cake vodka
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
