he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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