Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't deserve a penis
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
