I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
