I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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