No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
