he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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