They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
