I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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