you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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