Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
