just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
