i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I deserve this hangover.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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