arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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