would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
