Can i not drive my cunt home
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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