moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All the doctor said was why
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
