i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
