we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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