I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
