Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
