in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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