Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
