Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
