Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
