I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize