This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
