Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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