"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
