I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
