Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sorry about my life...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
