I'm eating all of the evidence.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
