dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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