Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
