Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
