I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
