Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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