I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
