I understand Curling. That high.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
