You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
