She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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