matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
