He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
