u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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