two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
