the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
