I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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