Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

If you die in college, do you die in real life?

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(240): View more from Maryland

It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.

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(716): View more from New York

Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?

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(214): View more from Texas

Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight

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(850): View more from Florida

I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.

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(303): View more from Colorado

IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just trying to show you I care.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.

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