just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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