Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
