areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
