if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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