new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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