we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
