Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
