Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
