Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
As shirtless as possible
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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