Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
